Monday, March 24, 2008


Here I am, reviewing yet another popular energy drink. This one is pretty mainstream, the Rockstar. I, personally, have never much enjoyed the Rockstars, but then again, I haven't had one in ages.

I think I was right when I predicted the Rockstar would be like a soda. I got lots of fizzing as it was opened, and there was the characteristic smell of HFCS. Groan. I expect a dull sweetness. But let me see.

Interesting; the color is pretty transparent, with a tinge of flourescent amber-green. I didn't expect that. The taste is that of sugar and water. And a little corn. It disappoints me, but what did I expect? This drink is definitely lasting a while in my hands. Getting into further detail, the beverage even acts a lot like a soda, being more than slightly carbonated and almost causing a little pain on the way down. I am sad to say that immediately, my stomach is aching.

Oh, wow! Reading the ingredients list, this drink actually does not have HFCS, but instead good ol' glucose and sucrose. Amazing; Rockstar has managed to make a should-be bright, tasty beverage into a sad, boring one.

Now, the ingredients. In the list, the second and third ingredient are both sugars. Further down the list, at number 6, I see artificial and natural flavors. Taurine, a major energy ingredient, comes in at number 5, the same as in Monsters, yet the total amount is slightly less per serving. With Caffiene and Guarana, among others, I expect this should give me a nice boost, but not greater than one I get from a Monster.

Taste: 4 - Nothing special
Kick: 7.2 - I havent experienced anything yet, but that might just be me
Overall: 4 - I don't see why people like these

Reviewed by: Jeff


Christian said...

You must have a very weak stomach if mainstay Rockstar gives you a tummyache.

This doesn't really sound like Rockstar. Is this review accurate? One thing I've always associated Rockstar with is the harsh flavor, but this review focuses on how sweet it is. It actually sounds more like a review for Monster than anything.

Canned Reviewer said...

Well, keep in mind Rockstar has more sugar than a Monster, and I find it to have more flavor that may upset the stomach than a Monster. Here, I have an experiment for you: drink a Monster and then drink a Rockstar. tell me how much of a difference you taste in terms of sugar content, flavor, and gumminess especially. Rockstar's are complete trash in comparison to Monster, I believe.



Jeffery "Jeff," Chandler "Chan"