Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Monster Heavy Metal

Yes, I'm ready for another review and I believe it's time; it's time to review the Heavy Metal. I know it's been a while since our last Monster and I know I've promised you this review long ago so I'm just going to go for it. I'm feeling good tonight and I don't want this quality drink to go to waste. I'm sure I don't have to go into detail with this drink because I'm confident most of you, our loyal readers, already know of the legendary status of the Heavy Metal. For all this time, the Heavy Metal has been lacking from our extensive catalog of reviews, and we thought we owed it to you to publish our take. For those of you who don't know what it is, I can pretty much give you the answer with one word: 32oz.

The first thing I smell is heavenly sweetness and some zing like rum. I like it a lot so far and it smells like quite a quality drink. The smell is tough to explain, but I know for a fact that it is Daiquiri, a drink with lime, sugar, and rum although some may argue this is in fact apple-flavored and I won't argue with them, because I've never been 100% able to figure out most of Monster's flavors. Of course, there isn't any rum in this drink, or I wouldn't be drinking it, but Monster has done a beautiful job of getting that genuine rum taste in here without any alcohol. When I smell this again, I notice the rum takes center stage and off in the background is mild lime with few of the sharp qualities usually associated with lime. Giving this drink a small sip, I taste that same rum coupled with subtle lime and some very good tartness that meets your tongue and works wonderfully. This is a great drink, not only because of its wonderfully original flavor, but also what enhances it is pure sugar as a sweetener, not HFCS. HFCS, had it been used, would've undoubtedly killed this drink, like many other great drinks that could have been. At first, this drink may taste a bit odd because it's something you don't find in energy drink often, but soon, you may warm up to the drink and find it's incredibly tasty. At least, that's what happened to me. I can't say anything bad about this drink, really, which is good, because you don't want to get tired of something in such a large can. I think Monster knew if they were going to make a unique 32oz energy drink, it had to be something irresistible and quality. I'm this far into the review already, and I haven't mentioned the color or even seen it yet. Pouring this out into a glass, there's a delightful bright green like the green Jolly Ranchers, and it definitely gives this drink a good image. Drinking from the cup, I realize there is quite a bit of very fine carbonation that gives this drink some nice texture and is helpful for keeping the drink from getting old. As for gumminess, it pleases me to find only a tiny amount of gumminess so that there's nothing to get in your way of this monster Monster. So far, I haven't had one thing to say against the drink, but a bit more than halfway through I have my first complaint. Yes, this is a great drink, and some may say never have too much good stuff, but soon enough, you've got to face the facts. Having more than half the can of this means so much sugar and water that you're likely to have a stomachache. Right now, it's mild, but if I continue to drink this at such a high rate, who knows how much worse it'll get. The solution to this may be simply drinking this more slowly, but in that case, the energy will seem like less of a jolt and more of a gradual high. If you're stuck with this stomachache you may obtain from this particular drink, one of two things are likely to happen: you'll either be in so much discomfort that all your energy is wasted while you can't help but sit with your terrible stomachache, or you'll be too wired to care. Right now, I'm leaning toward the second possiblity, which I'm happy about. I'm going to see soon how this drink fares when I'm spending my energy.

After performing the most vigorous exercise I could manage for a few minutes, I still have the notoriously great amount of energy given by a Monster and the urge to just run like hell into an open field, just that urge to run. That's a good thing and something I like about the Monster kick; it's more than just an amazing kick, it's a lot like a high; it improves your mood greatly and it does so to a greater degree with exercise. That's what I like about this drink, as the kick is even greater since it's like having two 16oz Monsters. However, as I mentioned earlier, that large amount also causes a stomachache which I'm plagued with at the moment and I wish would pass. For the time being, I'm going to list off all of Monster Heavy Metal's energy ingredients.

In the drink, there is Taurine (4000mg per can), Panax Ginseng (800mg), Monster's unique Energy Blend, consisting of Caffeine, L-Carnitine, Guarana, Glucose, Inositol, Glucuronolactone, Maltodextrin (10,000mg). Looking at these numbers, it's simply incredible, the amount of energy ingredients in one can, however, it's also a bit alarming. With 10,000mg of the Energy Blend, Caffeine being a key component in this blend, I'm curious how much Caffeine there is. I know for fact that per 16oz can of Monster there are around 160mg. That means per Heavy Metal, or BFC, as the 32oz cans are also called, there are a whopping 320mg of Caffeine, a significantly hefty dose. Having one of these, no doubt, is going to have you wired. Considering this, you should probably make sure to avoid intense aerobic exercise to avoid heart palpitations, which are never good.

Anyway, moving right along, for vitamins, Monster has 400% of the recommended daily values of Vitamin B2, B3, B6, and B12. It also has a bit of sodium, 4g of Protein, which is interesting, and 22g of sugar per serving. This is something that alarms, me; 22g is damn good for one serving, because it's not very much at all, but when you find yourself having four servings, you end up taking in 88g of sugar - something you don't want to do often. Also, because there's more sugar in here than a regular Monster, this means - yep, you got it - a worse crash. Yes, it's not scientifically proven, but it's very well known that taking in large amounts of sugar more often than not causes a bad crash, resulting in lethargy, tiredness, fatigue and sometimes irritability. Yet another reason to drink this slowly. In fact, I believe I'm beginning to feel it already, though I really wish I weren't.

The rest of the ingredients are as follows: Carbonated Water, Sucrose, Glucose, Citric Acid, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sodium Citrate, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Benzoate, Sucralose, Maltodextrin, Yellow 5, Blue 1. What interests me about this is that I don't see an emulsifier to hold the drink together, which tells me some other attribute must keep this drink from tasting gummy. I have yet to find out what it is but I know now that emulsifiers like Ester of Wood Rosin and BVO are not the solution for gumminess. What else amazes me is that Monster gets away with pure sugar, not HFCS and still doesn't taste gummy at all. Maybe Chan is right; maybe HFCS really is the source of gumminess. I'll have to keep thinking about it, but for the time being, I've got a rating to give this behemoth. Overall, I like this drink and the sick power it possesses, but sooner or later, we have to face facts that this really isn't the healthiest drink out there. It's probably one of the worst for you, considering it's massive size, though I still enjoy one from time to time and encourage you to.

Taste: 9.6 - Monster is brilliant at formulating quality, great-tasting drinks
Kick: 9.5 - Monster's kicks can be said to be more than a boost; it's like a high
Overall: 9.6 - An insane quality drink, but I have to say, it's a once-in-a-while thing, or you're putting yourself at risk.

Reviewed by: Jeff

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

GOOD REVIEW. I was confused as to what a heavy metal monster was, and you, Jeff, completely answered everything. No questions, whatsoever. Thanks once again.


Jeffery "Jeff," Chandler "Chan"