Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Monster Java Lo-Ball

Yes! This will be Canned Reviews' last Monster Java review, the Lo-Ball. It follows the same look as the other Javas, with the woodgrain look and the embossed Monster M. This one, however, is white, to symbolize the fact that it is the low-calorie, low-sugar- low-everything Monster Java. And it's true; there are only 100 calories in the drink. And - Oh, my God - only 8g of sugar. Monster truly strived in making this a low-everything drink, and I"m ready to tear in.

After the long and dramatic can-opening ritual, I didn't know what to expect but a less sweet version of the Mean Bean. I was quite surprised. The smell was normal and smelled faintly of coffee, but the taste was just a little odd. It tasted sweeter than I had predicted; with a hint of Splenda. I'm not so fond of Splenda, or as it is put in the ingredients list, surcalose. It tastes the most artificial of the Java Monsters, and I honestly think it's equivalent to drinking watered-down coffee with lots of Splenda. It's thoroughly disappointing and pales in comparison to Rockstar's light coffee beverage, the Rockstar Roasted Light. The Light had a warm, inviting vanilla taste with a genuine coffee taste and a very minute sweetness. This, however, has a questionable coffee taste with a definitely artificial sweetness. It disappoints me, because every other Java Monster I've tried I completely fell in love with. This is Monster's first energy drink failure, in my eyes.

Even though the taste was lame, I'm still optimistic about the ingredients. They've got to be the same as all the other Javas, and they should give me a respectable boost. There's the regular 5000mg per can of the Monster Energy Blend, which includes L-Carnitine, Glucose, Caffeinie, Guarana, Inositol, Glucuronalactone, and Maltodextrin. Along with that, there are 2000mg total of Taurine, and 200mg of Panax Ginseng. It's often considered a lot, but in my experience, Monsters have never actually given me a spectacular boost. I found out this was true with my previous review, the hemp drink, when I realized there are drinks that provide much greater boosts than a Monster. It's just okay, I would say. I would not suggest that you really try it; if you're desperately counting calories, don't even bother to have anything at all.

Taste: 5 - Disappointing for a Java Monster
Kick: 6 - The regular Monster kick; nothing much
Overall: 4 - I'd say, Monster's first failure

Reviewed by: Jeff


Dj Oats said...

you are like 95% wrong, the tatse i think is better then all the others besides russian, and the kick, im like jumpin off the walls, in comparison to drinking 2 Monster Energy's to make me in this state.

Canned Reviewer said...

Hey, thanks for the comment, Chan and I love hearing what everyone has to say. It's great that you enjoyed the Lo-ball. It's important to keep in mind that our reviews are only our takes on the drinks and we commonly find that our readers have different views. Also, as we review more drinks, our perspective on energy drinks overall develops.


Jeffery "Jeff," Chandler "Chan"